Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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