either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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