Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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