So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
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