Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
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new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
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Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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