thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
