i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
