remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
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