my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize