Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
