Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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