I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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