hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
