sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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