Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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