Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize