I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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