if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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