im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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