Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
