Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
