i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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