There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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