My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
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My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
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I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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