So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize