"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
