I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
