she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
