I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
