Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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