Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
