Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
