I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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