I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Welp...herpes.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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