he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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