i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
