Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
