Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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