dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
