i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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