So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
