Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
