and my herpes radar will keep us safe
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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