I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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