David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
