I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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