i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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