He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
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