and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
