At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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