Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
