Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
