Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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