Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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