Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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