Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize