Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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