Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
