my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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