fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
