no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cat food counts as protein by the way
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
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