so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Two words: nipple clamps
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